Rate the poster's joke above you!

[Spart]

Yes! This will be the most hilarious, laughing out load, ROFL and LMAO thread in the forums!

How to play:
Step 1: Rate the above poster's joke out of 5, no less than 1.
Step 2: Find the funniest joke you ever heard. Or you could just randomly pick one on the internet.
Step 3: Post it!

Rules:
No rude or crude humour unless... hey Scott, can we make an exception?
No pictures
If your joke gets a rating of 1, you are not allowed to post another joke till the next day.
Be honest when rating.

Rating bar:
1. That wasn't a joke/ Too far of a joke.
2. Lame jokes for kids.
3. Yea... I get it.
4. Haha, lol.
5. LMAO!!!

Okay, I start...

Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

[Legion 2.5]

I'm actually tired of hearing about Chuck Norris

Okay Here's one. Sideswipe, Bumblebee, and Mirage went to get their picture taken. When they got it they notice Mirage wasn't in. Guess why

[Spart]

I give it a 3

Q. What do you call a deer with only 1 eye?
A. No i-dea

[Darth Vader]

2

A guy asks a painter to paint his porch, and then leaves for the painter to get to work. The guy comes back in an hour and the painter says, "I'm finished, although I think you should know that your car's a Ferrari, not a Porche.

[Scott]

3

The morality of these jokes is disturbing...time to liven things up.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my wife and kids savagely.

[Legion 2.5]

Negative over 9000

What do you call a person who talks in the bathroom a lot?

A potty mouth

[Spart]

2

Q. How do you get a 1 armed blonde out of a tree?

A. Wave at her.

[Scott]

Negative over 9000

Anything over negative 9000?

(-12000) - - - - (-9000) - - - - - - - - 0 - - - - - - - - 9000
Under (-9000) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Over (-9000)

Considering my joke can be any positive number I choose I think mine is the winner

[Spart]

1

Did you hear about the consitpated math teacher? He worked it out with a pencil...

[GeneralChaz9]

4 lol

"When people say I'm hard to shop for, maybe don't know where to buy beer."

[Spart]

3

Q. How does a blonde insert a light bulb?

A. With a hammer

[Chaos]

3

A guy is walking on a beach and finds a lamp. He picks it up and a genie comes out, and says"I WILL GRANT YOU THREE WISHES, BUT YOU MAY NOT WISH FOR MORE WISHES!" The guy replies: "Okay, I wish for a thousand more genies!"

[Calvanater]

3.

So there's 3 princesses. A brunette, redhead and blonde. They all must tell the magic mirror a true fact about themselves, or else POOF, they disappear.

So, the brunette goes first. She says "I think... I'm the most beautiful princess in the world!" And POOF, she disappears. The redhead goes up next. She says "I think... I'm the smartest princess in the world!" And POOF, she disappears. The blonde goes up. She says "I think..." And POOF, she disappears.

[Chaos]

4

There's a panda, and he walks into a bar, orders lunch, and eats it. When the waiter comes for the bill, the panda pulls out a blaster, shoots him, and walks out the door. The manager runs and stops the panda, saying "Why did you do that? Now i have to hire someone else!" The panda replied, "Look it up in the dictionary." So the manager read this in the dictionary: "A Panda is a large furry creature. Eats: Shoots and Leaves."

[Calvanater]

4. I legitimately laughed at that one.

So there's 2 hikers in the woods, and one drops to the floor and stops breathing. The one calls 911 screaming and yelling, "MY FRIEND IS DEAD, WHAT DO I DO!?" And begins to cry because he believes his best friend is dead. The lady on the phone calms him down and says "Okay, make sure he's dead before we send paramedics." So the dude pulls out a gun and shoots his best friend in the face. He then says to the 911 lady, "Okay, he's dead. Now what?"